A 99 Word Review of The Avengers

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The Avengers plot is kept so simple that the entire film benefits from it greatly. What could’ve been a confusing mash-up of stories and intricacies became nothing more than a fun, visual feast any moviegoer can enjoy.

The comedy sprinkled throughout The Avengers is destined to anger “purists,” but is innocent enough for others’ elation.

The Avengers was never going to be the best movie ever and it celebrated that. Joss Whedon & Co. put together a blast of a movie that, in retrospect, may be the perfect way to start the franchise. Post-credits scene is brilliant. ROBIN SCHERBATSKY!

The Top 10 Movies of 2011

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Notable omissions (For whatever reason, I didn’t see these and they may have altered the list): The Artist, Tinker Taylor Soldier Spy, Hugo, Take Shelter, Rango

Honorable Mention: Scream 4 (Suck it, Eddie), Thor, Fright Night, Contagion, The Ides of March

10. X-Men: First Class

The best superhero movie since The Dark Knight. #truth. There were some annoyances throughout, but overall it was pretty fantastic. Major props go to Matthew Vaughn for expertly limiting January Jones.

9. Water For Elephants

Haters gon’ hate, but this is as solid as sappy romance movies come. I find myself having to defend this movie mostly to people who haven’t even seen it. Do yourself a favor and give it a gander. Once you get past R-Patt’s hair, you’re in for a real treat. LOLZ!

8. Moneyball

If Brat Pitt doesn’t win the Academy Award for Best Actor, I riot. Extremely disliked the little girl’s song/final scene, that’s why this isn’t much higher. Continue reading

The Worst Movies of 2011

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The absolute garbage of the ’11 calendar year…

Larry Crowne

Tom Hanks is one of the greatest actors of all time. Some people like Julia Roberts… How was this so offensively bad?! Shame on you, Forrest.

Something Borrowed

The only likeable character of the story turns out to be a giant wuss and moves across the world when he doesn’t get his way. Movies like this really, really make you appreciate the work and patience Cameron Crowe had to have put forth to make Almost Famous as good as it was. K-Huds is a terrible actress, G-Good is ridiculously hot and deserves better.

Green Lantern

From the onset, most knew this would be a disaster. It surely didn’t disappoint.

Continue reading

Most One-Sided Fight in UFC History?

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For some reason (he doesn’t at all like Mayhem and wants to bury him when he can), Dana White has been telling all the media, and anyone that will listen, that last Saturday’s bout between Jason Mayhem Miller and Michael Bisping was the most one-sided fight in UFC history.

C’mon, son. Mayhem looked pretty bad but the dude won the 1st round, then gassed and subsequently was beat down (IRONY(!)).

There is a looooooong list of UFC bouts that were more one-sided than this. Remarks as such display Dana’s propensity to bury outside talent and hide distant memories. (Side note: Remember when Paulo Thiago KO’d Josh Koscheck?)

Fights like Anderson Silva Vs. Forrest Griffin, BJ Penn Vs. Joe Stevenson, GSP Vs. Dan Hardy, Frank Mir Vs. Big Nog, John Hathaway Vs. Diego Sanchez, Chuck Liddell Vs. Babalu, Rich Franklin Vs. Nate Quarry, and all seven fights Royce Gracie had at UFC’s 1 & 2 rank high above the *Bisping-Mayhem Incident*

For what it’s worth, this is the bout that gets my nod for the most one-sided bout in the Octagon’s history:

‘Ey dawg, Garcia-Korean Zombie II goes down Saturday night!

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With everyone still in the Jones Zone, it’s hard to believe that there is already another UFC to get pumped for. Well believe it, playa, ’cause some serious shit is going down this Saturday night.

In addition to the quite intriguing Main Event of Lil’ Nog and, maybe the only dude who could give Bones fits, Phil Davis; we’ve got Dan Hardy taking on Anthony ‘Weight-Rumble’ Johnson, DeMarques Johnson scraping with Amir Sadollah, and a rematch from one of the best fights of 2010.

Leonard Garcia and ‘The Korean Zombie’ Chan Sung Jung will attempt to do the impossible, and top their legendary brawl from WEC 48.

Much like the first encounter: there will be nothing mixed, martial, or arts about this fight… But, Sweet Sassy Molassy! We can’t wait!